Getting older I realized some friendships are only for a season. It’s hard to accept but it is a fact of life. However, I’ve also learned that some friendships just need time apart in order to re-evaluate and come back together.
Know when to walk away
This is definitely the hardest part. Walking away is necessary whether it is time to leave a friendship alone forever or for a limited amount of time. If you feel frustrated, unheard, unsupported, or anything of the sort it is definitely time to fall back. Friendship takes work but it should not, in any way, drain you.
After a few months evaluate how you feel about the relationship
This step is also key. I’m not telling you that every relationship that might feel strained should be over but I am saying that time away lets you evaluate what the truth about that relationship. I have walked away from some friendships and instantly missed the good things about that relationship and we have since repaired what went wrong. Then I have other friendships that when they were over I felt a sense of relief and a loss of weight and stress. Not every friendship’s status will be that neatly wrapped up but time to reflect and evaluate will ensure you make the right decision.
Learn to enjoy your own company
Sometimes people don’t want to lose friendships because they don’t want to be alone. Trust me I get it, making friends has been difficult for me since I was little. But, learning to enjoy spending time alone will keep your friendships healthier and keep you happier in general.
Be grateful for the friendships you do have
If you decide to walk away from the friendship permanently then remember that you still have amazing friends there to spend time with, support, and love. Losing a few friendships is healthy because life is not static; people evolve and fall out of compatibility from time to time.
What advice do you have about friendship? Let me know in the comments!
14 thoughts on “Growing Out of and Back Into Friendships”
I need to be able to go back and review my friends after a break. I don’t usually do that.
I think this is a great blog topic. It’s so difficult for people to cut out negativity in their lives. I’ve definitely learned how to identify better traits to look for in friendships as in the past I felt I had very judgemental unsupportive friends around me and it was also bringing myself down!
Thank you for your post. I lost some friends who I thought were my best friends recently so I needed this.
Sometimes the relationship you have with someone is meant to be for a short period of time; whereas, others are meant for life. Either way, all of the friendships teach you something in life to help you grow as a person, and sometimes those short friendships are needed to open your eyes.
it is not about the quantity but it is all about quality and that includes friendship! I learn this as I get older that sometimes some people just does not jive. hard to do but at the end it is for the best!
I’ve always struggled with walking away from friends, its so tricky! With a breakup someone just decides it’s done, and that’s usually it, but with friends you usually drift for awhile and catch up every so often. This was refreshing to read, especially being reminded to enjoy my own company!
This post hits home right now as I am just now becoming aware that those “life-long” friendships really aren’t all that life long. Sure, we’re still Facebook friends, but…
Friends change as we change and grow. Each of mine has served a purpose, and many of them are lifelong friends even if we don’t see each other much or talk often.
I remember feeling hurt when my college bff stopped talking to me but now I know it happened for the best as we are two completely different people with dofferent values. It turned out to be the best thing honestly:)
Friends come and go and yes you are right it is a fact of life. Some of them are really for a short time and some are meant to stay. I have friends from high school that even though we live oceans apart and not talk for a long time, we still manage to pick up where we left off every time we get together.
Whenever I’m feeling down about the friendships that I’ve lost with moving away, or by just simply having different intrests, you are SO right about being grateful for the ones you do have! This article really rings true for me, as I’ve also held onto friendships in fear of being alone only to realise that I actually enjoy it!
Thanks for the great article 🙂
You’re absolutely right! Becoming comfortable with being alone is key because I feel often times we allow ourselves to stay in crappy friendships because its familiar and better than being alone!
I find a lot of value in your post & pinned it. Thanks!
This was very well written. Once I became a mom I really had to walk away from alot of firends. I didnt want to let go at first and chased them for awhile but through this journey I have really learned how to enjoy my own company.